If anyone has the misfortune to be much like myself, you will know how frustrating it can be when your mind throws out road-blocks.I can sit for hours on end with Artists' block, sometimes to a point where I think' Well what is the point in photographing this idea when someone has already done it?'. Other times, I just don't know where I am going and get so tangled up in a million different thoughts, that I find myself completely oppressed.
I feel what was holding me back from taking self-portraits for a while was simply my fear of my work not pleasing anyone, for throwing it out there and not getting any feedback because no-one really liked it that much. I realise it is so easy for an artist to get caught up in the loop of worrying about what people think of their work/style, that you forget about what pleases you. I keep having to remind myself, that I am the person who lives with my photos, who sees them every day and has the responsibility to make them better and more enjoyable to view, and for that reason I really need to put my feelings first every time. You can never be a good artist if you are not doing what makes your heart sing and makes you want to keep photographing.
I am hoping that this will be a public pledge to myself to always photograph what I enjoy, and not worry about how many comments it does/doesn't receive. If it doesn't get published, should I worry? Not at all. The planning and the actual shooting of the image is what I live for, getting published or hired for what I live for is that additional blessing, and hopefully one day my full-time career. I feel like it can be so precarious to compare yourself to others fortunes, and you really shouldn't. You are no better or less than an artist who has been awarded or recognised. Your time will come as long as you are always enjoying what you do, and the world will see that. As an artist, your work is dependant upon your happiness with what you are doing, and sometimes it is okay not to be okay, as long as you promise yourself to keep doing what is right for you.
You are so beautiful, and I must admit this helped me a whole lot. I thought I was the only one being upset about feedback and other people's love, and yet whilst reading your thought on things I realized that I wasn't alone in this problem of mine.
ReplyDeleteYou are incredibly kind and talented, and I only wish the best for you. I hope people can start noticing you more but I know that it's not the most important thing. The most important thing is to open up your eyes and view the world with love and no negative thoughts against yourself.
You are doing that, and oh how I look up to you now.