Update on my health

I have had some lovely well-wishers the last couple of weeks as well as those who have expressed their concern for me, which did actually bring a tear to my eye when I read their messages!
I have realised I have been a little vague and cryptic about my being under the weather, and just wanted to update you on what's been going on with me!

I have been suffering from a mixture of illness; when I get ill, I typicallyget everything at once! I think I did not fully recover from my flu and chest infection back in February, and I think the tiredness has caught up with me. Some of you may know that I suffer from M.E and have had it for 5 years now, and I am now mostly adapted to managing it. However, I have been suffering from mild anxiety for a while and over the last three months, I have had increasingly bad back pain (which I have had a history of) which has led to some incredibly annnoying symptoms such as dizziness and nausea. Essentially, I have been too tired and in too much pain to be able to shoot, or even get out of the house often in the last couple of weeks, and so I am taking my time to rest up. Please don't worry about me, as after just one session of physiotherapy today, I am already beginning to feel slightly better! As for the anxiety, that is mostly caused by my constant hunger to work and shoot and get better, and become a great photographer- that will pass in time,as I am a silly little thing!

I am really excited to plan shoots with new people and new faces. I am finally making  habit of sketching ideas and this is helping me get inspired and organised for when I am back out shooting! At least my body chose a time to need rest when the weather is a bit too dismal to shoot in! Fingers crossed for sunny weather and photo days!

Photos of Katie

Although I am struggling with a bad patch of health, that has left me unable to work and shoot for a while, I couldn't resist having a photo day with my Uni friend, Katie, and being in her company, relaxing,taking photos brightened my spirits and made me feel better than I have been! I showed her some locations that I have used on a number of occasions, and we discussed Uni and what our plans are for shoots! It was a nice break away from indoors, which I have kind of spent my most of my time the last fortnight, and fortunately, we had perfect weather conditions!

I have physiotherapy on Thursday and a doctor appointment next week. I hope I can get back on my feet pretty soon, as I have so many ideas planned!

The Rehydration Period

The last few weeks have been a bit of an emotional struggle with regards to my work. There used to be a time where I would photograph to please myself first and foremost, and felt so excited by every image I took and couldn't wait to show everyone, and felt the joy of discovering that it pleased other people too.
These days, I am full to the brim with self-doubt. At University, I keep being compared to previous students for both good and bad reasons. I fear my tutors do not see me improving any further than the standard I am at already, they ask me 'where can you go from here, how much more can you improve?'. They don't seem to have any suggestions, leaving me racking my brain for the answers and I am so,so frightened that I will be one of these previous students they talk about who barely improve whilst many of the other students' development accelerates. I am not looking at this situation in a competitive manner. I just want to better myself for myself, and those who love my work. Not anybody else. The thing is, the fact that I fear people doubt me makes me doubt myself. How can I improve if all I am filled with is this constant self-doubt? I find myself over-evaluating compositions and questioning why I want to photograph what I am shooting.
I am fluctuating between liking my work, then resenting it and right now I don't know what to do but only shoot,shoot,shoot and shoot some more until I finally unlock the potential to acheive the photographs and images that I dream of every night that flicker in my mind in the blink of an eye.
For what it's worth, I will do everything in my power to be the photographer I want to grow into. I just needed you guys and dolls to know what I am feeling right now.

Moxee Magazine publicaton

On June 13th, the 2nd issue of Moxee was released, and I was so thrilled to have a significant portion of my work featured inside! It includes my work with Nicola Crossley, my studio session with Felicity Allman & Millie Rose, and then some of my Uni work. I absolutely adore the magazine, so it was very special to see my own contribution tucked away inside the pages amongst so many beautiful artists!

Sailor Cherry

A few weeks ago, I did a shoot with the lovely Sailor Cherry for 'Call Me Betty'. When I work with her, I find it refreshing to be shooting a different style of portraiture that echoes a different era too! This shoot felt more like a fun day out, walking along the promenade and the pier! These photos are the best ones from the day, the sunlight and no extra pair of hands made lighting a little bit tricky,but we managed mighty fine!