The Rehydration Period

The last few weeks have been a bit of an emotional struggle with regards to my work. There used to be a time where I would photograph to please myself first and foremost, and felt so excited by every image I took and couldn't wait to show everyone, and felt the joy of discovering that it pleased other people too.
These days, I am full to the brim with self-doubt. At University, I keep being compared to previous students for both good and bad reasons. I fear my tutors do not see me improving any further than the standard I am at already, they ask me 'where can you go from here, how much more can you improve?'. They don't seem to have any suggestions, leaving me racking my brain for the answers and I am so,so frightened that I will be one of these previous students they talk about who barely improve whilst many of the other students' development accelerates. I am not looking at this situation in a competitive manner. I just want to better myself for myself, and those who love my work. Not anybody else. The thing is, the fact that I fear people doubt me makes me doubt myself. How can I improve if all I am filled with is this constant self-doubt? I find myself over-evaluating compositions and questioning why I want to photograph what I am shooting.
I am fluctuating between liking my work, then resenting it and right now I don't know what to do but only shoot,shoot,shoot and shoot some more until I finally unlock the potential to acheive the photographs and images that I dream of every night that flicker in my mind in the blink of an eye.
For what it's worth, I will do everything in my power to be the photographer I want to grow into. I just needed you guys and dolls to know what I am feeling right now.


  1. It really saddens me to hear that uni is making you feel this way - it should be a time to yourself where you can develop and build upon your work without having to worry about things like that :(

    I've kept up with your work for nearly all of your journey with photography and your work has developed and grown at an incredible rate, I must say. I know the feedback from the tutors must worry you (it would drive me round the bend with worry too) but I promise you are making tremendous progress as it is. Just keep doing what you are doing and you'll be fine, I promise <3

  2. Emily so sorry you feel like that!
    Your work is beautiful and you should never doubt yourself!
    I think these are my favourite ever photos from you.... especially the second one <3 xxxx